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4/20 | EDITORIAL | Some news
Dear Cornellians, April 17 2024 marked the seventh anniversary of Martha Pollack’s presidency at Cornell and it marked the first day we began to develop plans to abandon our alleged journalistic mission and embrace our new role as a semi-cooperative P.R. content farm led by Jade, staffed by our very own SOT columnists. This was a difficult decision, made after discovering that not a single student knew where to pick up a print copy of the Sun. Indeed, we began deliberating over it during our last budget meeting, as the office was heated solely through Bong Joon Bro’s blunts all winter, after finding out our main benefactor cut us off…
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SUNBURSTS | 4/20: Broken News
Editor’s Note: 4/20 content is a part of The Sun’s joke issue and contains exaggerated and factually inaccurate information. INSTITUTIONAL NEUTRALITY? | In a shocking turn of events, President Michael Kotlikoff was spotted at a pro-Palestinian protest, pouring Cornell’s promise of neutrality down the drain. (Psetahn Shmencea / Sun Contributor) FOUR-YARD PLAY | The Student Assembly announced Sunday that beloved mascot Touchdown has won the position of president. (Rielka Cngman / Sun Contributor) ILR IRL | For the first time in Cornell’s history, ILR professors have voted to join the UAW and are going on strike, effective immediately. (Temawth Ckkziyorn / Sun Contributor) TICK, TOCK, BOOM! | Administration decided to…
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BREAKING NEWS: Oscars Now Require Movies to Use AI
The Academy Awards, the annual awards show, A.K.A. the Oscars for illiterate barbarians, will now require films to utilize artificial intelligence in their work to be eligible for any awards. This change comes after the A24 film, The Brutalist, won three Academy Awards: Adrien Brody for Best Actor, Lol Crawley for Best Cinematography and Daniel Blumberg for Original Score Music. The editor for The Brutalist, Dávid Jancsó, revealed in an interview that he used AI to make Adrien Brody and his co-star Felicity Jones’ Hungarian more legitimate in the film. This use of voice-generating AI has made the film’s nominations and awards debatable and potentially undeserving. But why do hours…